"American Idol" rejectee Jason Castro swears he wasn't trying to get eliminated, but he's pretty relieved the whole ordeal is over for him.

"I was as happy [Wednesday] night as I was when I found out I made the top 24," Castro said yesterday. "I've had a blast and I was trying [my best], but it has just been really hard. I was starting to fear the week ahead.

"I loved my time on ['Idol'] and I would have liked to go farther," he added, "but I don't think I could handle it."

Castro, who flubbed the lyrics to Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" in his performance Tuesday, says trying to learn two songs in one week did him in.

"I was just feeling me losing that battle because I couldn't connect with the songs in that given amount of time," Castro said.

"I really had a hard time picking up two songs. I wasn't committing to either one because I wasn't connecting. I couldn't fall in love with them."

Last week, the 20-year-old from Rockwall, Tex., was the target of judge Paula Abdul's misguided comments when she critiqued two of his songs, though he had only performed once.

"That was kind of funny," said Castro. "I was just confused, like, what's going on? It was an honest mistake and I don't think it really affected my next performance."

It's that devil-may-care attitude, and an on-air yawn here and there, that had some people questioning Castro's dedication to the competition. But he insists that, especially in these recent weeks, he was going for gold.

"I did just kind of wander in and see where it would go, but then it started to go and I thought, 'All right, I'm here, I might as well be in it to win it,'" said Castro.

"A lot of it has to do with my uniqueness and, in many ways, just being different from the usual thing," said Castro. "I at least catch the eye and ear a little faster than anybody else.

"And I think it was my potential," he said. "I think I'm very much what the show was originally about. I'm as raw as it gets."